This year etched an indelible mark on my heart, a passage of grief that turned me inside out—relentless, unyielding, unlike anything I’d known before. From collective sorrow, as the depths of inequality were laid bare, to personal losses that came like an unwanted visitor rapping at my door, again and again, this journey around the sun felt endless. Yet, this winter break offered a respite as winters often do—a cessation of daily rhythms long enough to find a more grace-filled pace. Time stretched out thick like molasses, an opportunity to begin the slow work of processing and integrating.

Wave upon wave of sorrow crashed against the shores of my being, threatening to pull me under. Just as I came up for air, seeking a dry place to rest, the tide rose again. And yet, amidst the tears, uncertainties, and unrelenting griefs, I found myself overwhelmed by immense love and beauty—ever-present, waiting to be seen, acknowledged, and embraced. But the multitude of these emotions have felt frozen underneath the surface of my being, waiting for the tempo to slow enough.

In quiet resignation, I surrendered to the weight of it all and allowed it to transform me. Illusions stripped from my sight, I emerged with fresh eyes, ever closer to my humanity. I had to listen deeply when others revealed their truths. Part of my relational work became understanding and engaging with conflict—not avoiding it. Conflict, like nature, is inevitable. This year taught me a painful yet liberating truth: you cannot change people. More suffering arises when we resist life’s natural processes. We must go within.

This year, more than any other, urged me to lean into the ancestral wisdom embedded in my bones—an enduring strength shaped by countless lifetimes. Their whispers guided me: “When others fail you, trust yourself. It gets easier.” Bitter medicines, offered with tenderness, are softened by care and sweetened by honey’s warmth. So too, life’s harshest truths, when held with love, reveal their healing power, turning pain into wisdom and struggle into growth.

Many seconds, hours, days of twenty twenty-four, hope felt elusive. Chaos reigned. If we cannot find repair and resolution in our personal relationships, how can we hope to mend this fractured world? My reflections and stories often clung to the pain etched into my days, yet I grasped at simple joys—glimmers of lights guiding me through the darkness. As we straddle this delicate threshold, a space between integrating the past and gazing forward into the vast landscape of the unknown, I lay down the burdens I’ve carried and choose to journey forward in unconditional love, a lesson my late grandmother always carried with her.

How can we liberate ourselves with each step?

This year collapsed a universe of experiences into a single calendar—emotionally, collectively, financially testing every edge. There were many things I couldn’t share here and much remains unspoken, I return, time and again, to love. Love carries us through and dismantles barriers. Love endures. Twenty twenty-four brought devastating loss and change, closed doors, but also bursts of immense beauty and connection.

Time, illusionary—a river without beginning or end, flowing ceaselessly through the chambers of our days. This year, folding upon itself like the pages of a worn book, whispered its urgent truth: life is a flickering flame, too fleeting to squander. We have but one lifetime, a singular breath in eternity. There is no time for hesitation or half-hearted steps. We must plunge headfirst into the stream of life, getting wet, our boots muddied, letting its currents carry us through sorrow and joy, shadow and light, until we are immersed in the raw, unfiltered essence of existence.

Shockwaves of grief imprinted themselves upon my heart, these wounds I continue to tend. My nervous system still unwinds, my hyper vigilance slowly receding, as I recover from wreckage, dumpster fires, and too soon farewells. And yet this year, laughter persisted. Windows remained open. Love remained. The northern lights still danced across the evening skies. How can all of this coexist?

One day, perhaps, we will learn to stop the cycle of hurting each other. We will see the sharp edges we wield against others only cut into ourselves. Perhaps we will awaken to this truth, not as distant hope, but as a tender practice—learning to hold one another gently, like fragile flames in the darkness. Perhaps one day, we will finally lay down our armor and say, “Enough,” understanding that our battles are but reflections of the same wound. In that understanding, we will heal.

Here I sit at this threshold, in quiet contemplation, processing what my body, mind, and soul still carry. Vacillating between the need to shield my heart from betrayal and the desire to share it openly, I continue to show up. I return to the simple rituals and practices that held me through the storms, bringing me back to the surface. This year, I have learned what truly holds value across lifetimes.

Time is a gift. How we choose to spend it, what we focus on, can shift everything.

I invite you, wherever you are and whatever mountains you’ve faced to notice the joy that lingers in your day—the kind that cannot be bought, sold, or commodified. Pause. Inhale. Exhale. You are alive. The seemingly insignificant joys that fill your day– those are the pearls of wisdom. The chickadee’s song echoing through fog, bare branches reaching toward you and the sky, sunlight breaking through mist, laughter drowning out the chatter in your mind.

What do these moments reveal about what truly sustains you? Hold them close.

As we face the unknown on the horizon, I know we are in this together. In twenty twenty-five, I am committing to letting go of the tender hurt of disappointments, to reaching out in trust and connection, and holding on fiercely to love.

In gratitude, connection, and love, Alyson xx